So how is it like to grow up as an orphan!!!

My mom, dad and my twin sister committed suicide in 1992. (We were 2 years old when it happened. Our parents decided to kill us when they decided to end their life). I was one lucky soul; the poison wasn’t strong enough to take the life out of such a heavy-duty. I was saved by my extended family only to get abandoned later. I was disowned not because two of the wealthiest families in the city couldn’t raise me but because I was a curse for their reputation.
 
Fast forward few months, one fine day I woke up at a children's home. *Boom* I am an orphan.
 
So how is it like to grow up as an orphan!
 

1. There was very little caring. Every time I tried to replace my family members with the attenders, I failed terribly. Later when I was around 5 years I realized family can never be replaced.
2. We always get old and torn stuff to wear and play. No one ever donates fresh clothes or toys to orphaned children. Till 6 years old I have never worn a dress of my size, always oversized.
3. We used to long for birthday celebrations of rich kids so that we get a ladoo, if lucky enough a cup of chocolate ice cream too.
4. In less than 4 years of age we all learned to take dump, get cleaned up, take bath and get dressed properly because unlike other kids no one else would do it for us.
5. Whenever the attenders look at you, you have to be either studying or praying or else you would get beaten up.
6. I loved to have long hair, but irrespective of the gender we all got short haircuts.
7. We don’t get our birthdays celebrated. I didn’t know what my birthdate was, most of us didn’t know. Once we were all taken to watch the Tamil movie 'Muthu', charmed by Rajinikanth everyone wanted to celebrate their birthday on his birthday.
8. Worst part of the day comes when the sun is gone. Not even a single day passed without hysterical late night screaming.
I don’t remember much growing up as an orphan as I got adopted by a loving family when I was 6 years old. I got a new name, new family, new identity and an awesome new life.

Life as an orphan was horrible! That too as an illegitimate orphan child, life is hideous. If front of you people say you are a chosen kid, at the back they call you a bastard. What hurts more is the realization that you are not wanted by your own family. It’s hard when your life is shaped totally by the circumstances on which you had no say. I often wonder how an innocent kid could give so 

much distress to the family that they choose to place the child in the cruel world with some strangers and move on with life as nothing happened. Still no regrets, I am really thankful for that dark period as it has made me realize the value of love, care, trust and family. It has made me stronger than most girls my age.

I have a note for guys. When my ex dumped me, one of his main concern was I didn’t have a good family life upbringing. There was another incidence where my friend's family rejected a marriage proposal just because the girl’s parents were no more even though she was beautiful, educated and earning well. 

 
When it comes to romantic relationship and marriage there is a type casting that girls with no good family life upbringing have trust issues, they may not mingle with family, they will break the family, they are cold hearted etc. 

Trust me, on contrast living on their own has only made them generous,